THIS WEEK IN POLITICAL NEWS -- 1/12/17

The We’re-All-Going-To-Die / Extra-Long-Because-It-Was-the-Worst-Week-of-All-Time Edition

**I'm sure this thing has lots of typos. Sorry.

TRUMP MEETS THE PRESS: I like you guys a lot and value my sanity little, but I don’t like you enough nor value my sanity so little as to actually watchTrump’s entire hour-long Wednesday press conference. That is a bridge too far. But I did read the transcript. And you guys, holy shit, we are fucked. I wish I could say something else, and I’m sorry for the language, but man, this is bad. Really, really bad. If you needed any clearer evidence that we have elected a wannabe autocrat, you got it in this press conference.

• First, Trump packed the room with paid staffers who applauded and cheered and laughed along with him. There are actual “APPLAUSE” breaks in the transcript!! In the transcript of a press conference.
• Then Trump was introduced by his kowtowing, groveling Vice President. (“Now, the president-elect’s leadership and his energy during the campaign was impressive. But . . . I can assure the American people that his energy and his vision during the course of this transition has been even more inspiring.” -- real quote.)
• Then Trump claimed credit for Fiat opening new plants in the US, despite the fact that those plans were in the works for a year and the head of Fiat credited the United Auto Workers and not Trump with making this happen.
• Then he blamed the DNC for being hacked, falsely claiming that the RNC was not penetrated (in fact, for reasons that we just cannot possibly fathom, the hackers chose only to release DNC materials).
• Then he bragged about a $2 billion bribe that was offered to him this past weekend to build some hotels in Dubai by “a great, great developer from the Middle East, Hussein Damack, a friend of mine, great guy.” (The great guy’s name is actually Hussain Sajwani, chairman of Damac Properties Dubai Co., and the company confirmed that these discussions took place “as stated.” Mr. Sajwani was partying with Trump on New Year’s Eve at Mar-a-Lago, where guests paid $525 apiece directly to Trump’s business to spend time with the President Elect. You guys. YOU GUYS.) Trump’s response to the offer? “I didn’t have to turn it down, because as you know, I have a no-conflict situation because I’m president, which is — I didn’t know about that until about three months ago, but it’s a nice thing to have.” Please someone just shoot me now and take me out of my misery.
• Then Trump went on a long rif about how he had no need to divest, about how he could run his company and the country at the same time (“I’d do a very good job” -- real quote), how there are no conflict laws that apply to the president, that only the president (and VP) and no other government official has this special dispensation (“I have something that others don’t have, Vice President Pence also has it. I don’t think he’ll need it, I have a feeling he’s not going to need it.” -- real quote), but that just out of the goodness of his heart, he would temporarily hand the business over to his two adult sons, Uday and Qusay Don Jr. and Eric. The he brought on his Morgan Lewis lawyer, who insisted that “President-elect Trump should not be expected to destroy the company he built.” I mean, of course not. She offered the meaningless assurance that no new “foreign deals” would be made during Trump’s presidency, but made clear that the Trump Organization would continue all domestic business as usual. (Needless to say, the head of the Office of Government Ethics was supremely unimpressed with this plan.)
• Then the lawyer insisted that the Constitution’s proscription against a president’s receiving “emoluments” from foreign governments does not mean “fair value” exchanges for services. But just because Trump is so extra special, he is going to donate all foreign government payments to his D.C. hotel to the Treasury. In other words, Trump is vowing to merge his business with the U.S. Treasury. So, that’s cool. No way foreign governments could exploit that at all.   
• Then he declared that Obamacare would be repealed and replaced immediately, (“It will be various segments, you understand, but will most likely be on the same day or the same week, but probably, the same day, could be the same hour.” -- real quote), following an as-yet-unnamed plan that he would release that will be “far less expensive and far better.” Terrific.
• Then he announced there would be a “major border tax” on companies that move offshore, falsely claiming in the meantime that the “real number” of unemployed Americans is 96 million. This is a lie (for one, it includes nearly 38 million who are over 65 years old, and another 9.7 million who are between 16 and 19 years old).
• Then Trump declared that his much-touted vow to make Mexico pay for the border wall was really just something fun that his crowds shouted at rallies, and that really Mexico will just “reimburse” us for it, “whether it’s a tax or whether it’s a payment — probably less likely that it’s a payment.” (Obviously, and this goes without saying, that will never, ever happen.) And then he declared that he loves Mexico and Mexicans, especially the Mexicans who work for him.
• Then he attacked Buzzfeed and CNN for reporting unfavorably about him (“they’re going to suffer the consequences” -- real quote), and when CNN’s John Acasta tried to ask a question, Trump shouted him down and called CNN “fake news.” And the other journalists just let that happen!

And there you have it. I seriously do not get paid enough to have suffered through that entire transcript. You’re welcome, America. Here’s Chait with some of his usual astute observations (read the whole thing): “Donald Trump’s first press conference since the summer was a surreal exercise in the assertion of immunity from accountability. He either ignored questions about his behavior, or dismissed the questions as illegitimate. He painted a chilling depiction of politics not as an ongoing process but as a one-time event, settled in his favor by the presidential campaign, once and for all.”

SESSIONS MARCHES TOWARD CONFIRMATION: On Tuesday and Wednesday, the Senate Judiciary Hearing took up the nomination of Jefferson Beauregard SEssions III to be our next attorney general (yes, that’s his name, and yes, it appears he was named for Confederate President Jefferson Davis). He appears to be in a lock for confirmation, despite Democrats’ sometimes sharp questioning of his racist background, his inflated (ie, mendacious) history “championing” civil rights, his anti-Muslim rhetoric, and his belief that secular people may not be able to reach the truth of any question. On Wednesday, after the cameras were gone (they were at Trump Tower watching the flaming pile of garbage known as our president-elect), the GOP-controlled committee allowed congressman and civil rights icon John Lewis, Senator Cory Booker, and other black leaders to testify against Sessions’ nomination. Senator Booker’s testimony was unusual for him in that it struck a clear and forceful position that was outside the mainstream, as he became the first sitting senator to testify against another sitting senator’s confirmation. While Booker issued a heartfelt clarion call for justice as an integral component of so-called “law and order,”  Lindsey Graham used his time at the dias to complain that the real victims of racism were white southerners like himself and Sessions. Sessions’ declaration that he is not racist counts for little. As Jamelle Bouie put it: “We can’t look into the senator’s heart. What we can do, however, is look at his record. And his record shows clear disdain for efforts to remedy racial discrimination. That he joined Rep. John Lewis for an anniversary march on the Edmund Pettus Bridge—that he’s been endorsed by figures like Condoleezza Rice—doesn’t change the fact that he has used his career to impede the fight for fair treatment and full equality.” The good news: Despite what felt like a relatively cozy hearing for their fellow senator, it looks like the Democrats will stand united against his confirmation, as Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer announced that he would oppose Sessions.

THEY ARE LYING TO US: Yes, this is the ultimate dog bites man story, but it’s still important. This weekend, Trump and his minions clearly, unambiguously, and flagrantly lied to us, the American people, about a critical issue of national security. After Trump finally sat for an intelligence briefing last Friday, in which Russia’s successful efforts to disrupt our election and ensure his victory were discussed, Trump issued a statement stating flatly and emphatically that he learned that “there was absolutely no effect on the outcome of the election.” That weekend, chief propagandist and shameless liar Kellyanne Conway went on the Sunday shows to repeat this mendacious claim. “They did not succeed in throwing the election to Donald Trump,” she told Chuck Todd. “If you read the full report, they make clear, Mr. Clapper in his testimony made very clear in his testimony, under oath, that any attempt, any aspiration to influence our elections failed. They were not successful in doing that,” she insisted to Jake Tapper. This is a lie. A bald-faced, clear-as-day, can’t-be-disputed LIE. We know that because the Director of National Intelligence issued the unclassified version of the classified report he briefed Trump on, which (1) clearly states that it contains “identical” conclusions as the classified report, and (2) states right there at the beginning, “We did not make an assessment of the impact that the Russian activities had on the outcome of the 2016 election.” I know we are all inured (already, 8 days before Trump’s presidency has even begun) to the serial falsehoods spouted from the mouth of the short-fingered vulgarian and his entourage. But this is a big deal: He was given a report about Russian interference in our election; he was explicitly told that no evaluation of that interference effect on the election’s outcome was made; and yet he turned around and told this nation just the opposite, that the intelligence community in essence blessed his victory as pure. This is a big deal.

NEWSFLASH: A few bits and pieces to round out the week.

• You’ve seen stuff about a secret “dossier” of potentially outrageous information that the Russian government is holding over Trump. I am too exhausted to get into it. So first read this Times piece, and then read this very short Kevin Drum piece.
• Activists scored another victory after putting lots of pressure on Congress and Trump, forcing them to delay multiple cabinet nominee hearings to give the nominees more time to finish their paperwork, including their ethics submissions.
• Last night, the first Obamacare Vote-O-Rama was held in the Senate, paving the way for the rapid repeal of Obamacare. Democrats forced a series of bad votes for the GOP on Obamacare’s most popular provisions: Republicans voted down amendments stating that young people could stay on their parents’ insurance until age 26; requiring insurance to cover people with preexisting conditions; free contraceptive coverage; protecting rural hospitals; and mandating that Medicare, Medicaid, and CHIP be protected from cuts.  
• The Justice Department announced it would investigate the FBI’s handling of the Clinton email situation -- i.e., the move by Jim Comey that without question caused Clinton to lose the presidency.

Apocalypse Watch: “But at the national level, they should resolutely avoid the circular firing squad. They didn't lose because their message was unpopular or because they're out of touch or because they're insufficiently centrist or insufficiently leftist. That just wasn't the problem. The Democratic message was fine; Democrats are perfectly well in touch with their constituencies; and they weren't perceived as too unwilling to shake things up. Even with eight years of Democratic rule acting as a headwind, Hillary Clinton's default performance was a substantial win. The only reason it didn't happen is because James Comey basically decided to call her a liar and a crook—based on absolutely no new evidence and with everyone in the world advising him not to—with 12 days left in the election.”

Bonus Apocalypse Watch: “I’m more and more coming around to the idea that we’re so very very fucked.” -- Source at the National Nuclear Security Administration.

BONUS -- Best Trump Word Salad of the Week: “They can say what they want, they can guide you anyway they wanna guide you. In some cases, they guide you incorrectly. In most cases, you realize what’s happened, it’s imploding as we sit.”

The Best Thing Ever Ever Ever:You need this in your life. I promise you will want to watch this video. I love this SO much.

Bonus Fun Video of the Week: Four words: Michelle Obama. Surprise. Tears.